10 Things you should Never say during an Argument if you want your Relationship to Last

Arguments are a natural part of any relationship, but they can also be detrimental if not handled properly. The way we communicate during arguments can have a lasting impact on our relationships. In this post, we will discuss 10 things you should never say during an argument if you want your relationship to last.

1. Insults and Name-calling

Using insults and name-calling during an argument can be incredibly hurtful and damaging to a relationship. It shows a lack of respect and can cause long-lasting emotional wounds. Instead, focus on addressing the issue at hand and expressing your feelings in a calm and respectful manner.

2. Bringing up Past Mistakes

Bringing up past mistakes or dredging up old arguments is counterproductive and can escalate the current argument. It’s important to focus on the present issue and find a solution instead of dwelling on the past. Letting go of past mistakes is crucial for the growth and longevity of a relationship.

3. Threats and Ultimatums

Threatening to end the relationship or giving ultimatums during an argument is manipulative and can create a toxic dynamic. It’s important to approach conflicts with the intention of resolving them, rather than using them as leverage. Healthy communication involves finding compromise and understanding each other’s perspectives.

4. Sweeping Generalizations

Making sweeping generalizations during an argument can be hurtful and dismissive. Avoid using phrases like “You always” or “You never” as they can make your partner feel attacked and defensive. Instead, focus on specific behaviors or incidents that are causing the conflict.

5. Dismissive Language

Using dismissive language, such as “It’s not a big deal” or “You’re overreacting,” invalidates your partner’s feelings and can escalate the argument. It’s important to acknowledge and validate each other’s emotions, even if you don’t fully understand or agree with them. Listening and empathizing can go a long way in resolving conflicts.

6. Blame and Accusations

Blaming your partner and making accusations during an argument only creates defensiveness and hostility. Instead of pointing fingers, focus on expressing your feelings and needs. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory and encourage open communication.

7. Bringing up Sensitive Topics

Bringing up sensitive topics or personal insecurities during an argument can cause unnecessary pain and damage trust. It’s important to establish boundaries and respect each other’s vulnerabilities. Avoid using sensitive information as ammunition during an argument.

8. Disregarding Boundaries

Disregarding your partner’s boundaries during an argument can lead to feelings of disrespect and resentment. It’s important to establish and honor each other’s boundaries, even in the heat of an argument. Take a step back if necessary and revisit the conversation when both parties are calm.

9. Defensiveness

Being defensive during an argument can hinder effective communication and resolution. Instead of immediately becoming defensive, try to listen to your partner’s perspective and understand their point of view. Responding with empathy and openness can help de-escalate the situation.

10. Refusing to Apologize

Refusing to apologize or acknowledge your mistakes during an argument can create resentment and hinder the healing process. It’s important to take responsibility for your actions and apologize when necessary. A sincere apology can go a long way in repairing the damage caused by an argument.


Arguments are inevitable in any relationship, but how we handle them can make all the difference. By avoiding these 10 harmful phrases during arguments, we can have healthier communication, strengthen our relationships, and ensure their longevity.

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